Thursday, June 11, 2015

Get Go Sandwich Standoff: "The General" vs "The Rogie Hoagie"

Get Go has been KILLING it lately with crazy sandwiches that are great for advertising on the radio but I've been wondering if they're actually great for eating.

The new one I've been hearing about is "The General" which is like Chinese take-out on a sesame sub roll.  I hear ads for it every morning on my commute, and I see a giant billboard for it too.  It's basically chicken tenders with General Tso's sauce and egg rolls on a sesame bun.  I'm guessing they were inspired by Primanti's and decided to try to apply it to a different cuisine (I'm looking forward to The Russian Borscht sub which I'm sure is planned for later this summer).

I ventured out to my local GetGo to try one of these out, only to be greeted by "The Rogie Hoagie" on the screen in addition to "The General."  What a great surprise (and additional gastronomic challenge)!  I decided to try them both and report back.  "The General" only comes in 7" and 14" varieties, but "The Rogie Hoagie" has 14", 7", and 3.5" options.  I decided to get the 3.5" 'Rogie, and I went with the 7" General, intending to cut it in half and eat the 2nd half if it was good enough.

I got them home, unwrapped them, and slashed the general in two.

The Competitors!

The Rogie Hoagie
I started with "The Rogie Hoagie" - first impressions: it's kind of mushy.  It tastes like the color white.  It's bland - it tastes just like the edge of a pierogi.  It's soft and just a bit chewy and doesn't really taste like anything.  There's some kind of meat (sliced kielbasa maybe?) and cheese but the flavor doesn't really come through.

BUT WAIT!  After a few bites I discover that there's brown mustard.  It adds a much-needed tang to it.

Halfway through.

The other thing is that there are fried onions on it, which are now all over the place.  They don't stay on.  There are onions everywhere.  My kitchen is only onions now.

This picture shows about 1/7 of the onions that fell off.

It's not bad; I didn't want to stop eating it but as it is, I can't say I'd want to eat it again.

The General
After eating about half of the first sandwich, I started the general.  I'm going to be blunt: this has no business being a sandwich.  In your mouth it feels like fried chicken and modeling clay.  The sauce mixes with the breading on the fried chicken to create a soft paste that is not appetizing - it's similar to oatmeal, and "General Tso's Oatmeal Sandwich" is not something I think would catch on.  There's another sauce on it that gives it a bit of a kick, but not too much.

The flavors really aren't bad but the texture ruins it.  The egg rolls simply exist, but contribute nothing.  Any flavor they had is overwhelmed by the other 2 sauces.  It's somehow worse than any of its constituent parts.  You'd be better off just getting all of the ingredients separately, but then I guess you could just go to a Chinese restaurant.

This is about as far as I got.

Neither my stomach nor my mouth would permit me to finish the half that I cut off.  If this sandwich were a person, it would be ashamed of itself.  If it could speak, it would be screaming, "WHY DID YOU CREATE ME?  WHY DO I EXIST?"

I turned away from it, I just couldn't bear to keep looking it in the egg rolls.  I had to go back to the pierogi sandwich.

I decided that the pierogis were just overwhelming the whole thing, so I took off the pierogis and honestly - it's a better sandwich.  I actually enjoyed it without the pierogis, but I guess then it's just a regular old sub with onions but without a clever name.

A much more enjoyable regular old sub without a clever name.

The Rogie Hoagie is the clear winner here, with the obvious loser being my blood pressure and cholesterol levels.

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