Wednesday, July 29, 2015

Probably Totally Normal Things My Son Has Said

My son is 6. All of these are things he's said. All of these quotes are verbatim. I'd provide context but for almost all of these there just isn't any.

20. When I grow up, I'm gonna be a racer and I'm gonna run faster than all the other guys that are racers because they didn't eat their fruit.

19. Oh daddy, I have a good idea! I don't do what you tell me but THEN I get ice cream!

18. Daddy, nobody teached me how to do this. I learned it all by myself.

17. When I grow up I want to be an elephant. A gwirl elephant. 

16. Well... At least my mouth will be lighter (after losing a tooth).

15. Daddy, I want Uncle Rick to be my daddy. I want you to be my grandpa.

14. My other foot smells like pizza, but my first foot smells stinky.

13. I wish people had webbed feet. So they can swim better. 

12. I ate two donuts and I won't ever be hungry again ever.

11. Dutch Wonderland is a real place.

10. When I put something in my mouth, I can control it. 

9. When I'm a teenager I'm just gonna run around the house with Lilly and play video games and eat candy. 

8. Everybody has a mommy.  Except soccer guys.  But Iron Man has TWO mommies!

7. Cats say, "Ricken ruggets." That's how they mean chicken nuggets.

6. Real lightsabers aren't real. But pretend ones are. 

5. From now on I want you to call me Egg Sandwich.

4. I'm eating a giraffe animal cracker. It tastes just like a giraffe.

3. Pretty much, whenever I leave the house, I forget about the chimney.

2. Daddy, I'm gonna be Pee Guy. He shoots arrows and fights the Red Skull.

1. There's a place called Swordways in Zelienople and it's really scary but you can still go there and they sell swords for kids for six dollars and daddies can get swords too. Also they have shields.

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