Friday, November 3, 2017

The Gobbler from Arby's

Stop.  Stop what you're doing and go to Arby's. Right. Now.  Have them make you a Gobbler.  This is not something you'll regret.

Go. Eat this thing. Look at that bacon. Go.

Arby's has a new sandwich.  It's called "The Gobbler" and as far as I can tell it's two things: a vehicle for their new deep fried turkey, and an attempt at a Thanksgiving themed sandwich.  It's also a third thing: magically delicious.

move over Lucky, there's a new holiday mascot on the block

Unwrapping: this actually looks like a sandwich.  It looks appetizing.  It looks like something I want to eat.  It doesn't look like the promo photo above, but it doesn't look like someone was flailing around and accidentally smashed up a sandwich, either.

sexy Instagram caption goes here

First bite: Wow.  I mean, "WOW."  Holy h*ck this is good.  The turkey has a really bold, meaty flavor.  It tastes a lot like turkey sliced fresh from your choice Thanksgiving bird.  Tastes great, nice texture.  There's also some bacon & cheese here to complete the package.

What even is fast food anymore?  This definitely doesn't suck.

I really like that they didn't try to replicate a full Thanksgiving dinner on a sandwich - I've had those attempts before and they're mostly calamitous.  There's no gravy here.  No awful attempt at "stuffing bread" or whatever the h*ck you get when you try to make bread out of something that has bread as its main ingredient.  It's a turkey sandwich, done properly.  Good job, Arby's.

wait I shouldn't post this weird thing

Halfway through: The mustard is perfect, it's got a nice sharpness that's not too overpowering but is a great balance for the turkey and the sweeter cranberry spread on the other side.  There is one lettuce leaf on this sandwich for some reason.  It's like, "Hey, there are vegetables here!  Trust us!" I almost thought it was a salad for a minute.  It's delicious AND it keeps you guessing.

The bread itself... it's real bread.  It tastes wholesome.  Yes, I just described something at Arby's as wholesome.  Don't laugh.


I have only two, very, very tiny minuscule criticisms.  1 - I don't like tomatoes and they're on this sandwich.  2 - the bread is just the slightest bit dry.  This sandwich is so awesome I feel bad even saying that.  I'm sorry, sandwich.

Why are you still here?  Go get one of these now.  What are you doing with your life?